04/29/11: Wow, DD! Thank you ^Halatia and =zebrazebrazebra and everyone else who has read this.
For #transliterations 5th prompt
(about goddamn time I actually submitted to their prompts since I was going to submit to the very first one all those months ago. >.>). In a nutshell, I'm supposed to use a poem in a language I don't know and try to translate it by myself and reflect that meaning in my "transliterated" piece. It was a pick between French, Spanish and Italian. I wanted to do the French one but I'm disqualified because I studied French at school (although that didn't mean I could understand every single word in the poem >.>) so it fell to Italian and Spanish. I technically know bits of Italian thanks to my years of playing the piano so really it ended up being the Spanish, which I was drawn to anyway, only because I was already working out the words in my head and I really liked the sound/look of it. Thank goodness French belongs to the Romantic Languages so at least I had some basis to attempt my fail translating. The poem is by Frederico Garcia Lorca, which goes like this:
Mi sombra va silenciosa
por el agua de la acecia.
Por mi sombra están las ranas
privadas de las estrellas.
La sombra manda a mi cuerpo
reflejos de cosas quietas.
Mi sombra va como inmenso
cínife color violeta.
Cien grillos quieren dorar
la luz de la cañavera.
Una luz nace en mi pecho,
reflejado, de la acequia.
So basically, the bolded lines are my fail translating from each stanza, hence the six parts. And the rest of it was the story that just kinda spawned from my mind...so I don't know if that disqualifies me from the prompt because I'm not really transliterating directly half the time, more like transliterating the mood and feel of the poem.
It struck me as a very quiet, somber poem, filled with reflection so I sort of tried to capture it in this story. As for where I got the idea for 'shadow', I thought "sombra" initially as somber, but when I looked at it in context (assuming 'mi' means 'my'
) I didn't think the adjective made sense, and then I looked more closely at the word and the 'ombra' part reminded me of 'umbra', like penumbra, like penumbral eclipse of a moon, like a shadow across the moon and off went my imagination.
I don't even know whether it's right but shadow perfectly fits the mood of the poem so...
Otherwise, enjoy my epic fail of transliterating this. xD I apologise if 80% of this doesn't even make sense, because we all know umbrella acacias, let alone aquatic ones, don't exist.
Or moon-shadows for the matter. As for the title, I was reminded of this song which I sang ages ago when I was a little kid that goes something like "Me and my shadow, my shadow and me...etc etc". I don't know what it's called though. D: And it seemed like the only fitting title I could think of, because as usual I fail at titles. And I know I wasn't going to write for a while but procrastination got hold of me during a history project and this prompt was too intriguing to pass up. Plus, I was going kinda crazy from not writing and it sometimes spills out at inconvenient times.
Comments and critique appreciated. I hope the themes and symbols and motifs carry across well enough and it's not too confusing, or telly. I'm still working on subtlety.